This time 5 years ago....

Forgive me for going down memory lane...

Every year when it's getting close to my birthday, I remember so vividly five years ago at this time. It's heavy, it's on my heart, it's happy, it's emotional.

Only close friends, family (and friends that have now asked) know that we struggled for about 6 years with infertility. Fast forward to today and we now have three beautiful 4 1/2 year old boys. I am VERY blessed.

August 2005. 2nd round of IVF. I have never been pregnant. We drive 3 hours back to our first home in Springfield, MO. We don't know what to think.

Labor Day, 2005. We find out we are pregnant for the FIRST TIME EVER. We are so excited. I had never had a positive pregnancy test in my life. The next day I went my local OB for blood tests, and to wait another day to see if my beta count starts to go up.

It did! Excitement. Nervousness.

September 22, 2005. My birthday. I am now 26 years old, the same age my mother was when she had her first child. Dan purchased me my first maternity outfit and a body pillow. He did not buy it on sale, because he knew I would not buy it for myself. I loved it.

We head to Springfield Brewing Company for my birthday dinner. We sat and ate. I love their fried pickles :) We talked about the future, what it will be like on Monday, in 4 days, when we are supposed to go back to our KC doctor for the first ultrasound. Will we see a heartbeat? It's still early. Since we are heading to a movie, I stop at the restroom before we leave.

My heart stops. I'm spotting. My stomach sinks. Of COURSE this would happen - I mean it was too good to be true. Right? I rush out and make Dan take me to the hospital. He doesn't understand why, since there isn't anything they can do. I still want to go.

As we are driving back up National towards St. Johns Hospital, I remember seeing a park full of people dressed in medieval garb and sword fighting. I later wondered if I really did see it. A few months after that, I found out that I did not dream it up. In fact, there is a medieval group in Springfield.

In the ER, I waited. And waited. They called me in and checked me out. No more blood and my cervix is closed. Either I had already miscarried or I was spotting old blood. I was released on orders to see my OB in the morning for an ultrasound.

I got home and there was a present out front for me from my good friend, Julie. It was a baby blanket and rattle, with a card saying it is for "he, she, or them". I cried and called her. I told her she needs to take it back, and she prayed with me and said that I need to keep it.

The next morning was solemn. We went in for the ultrasound. The tech must not have known why we were there because she just blurts out "there is Baby A's heartbeat, Baby B's heartbeat, and Baby C's heartbeat. Looks good. Go back out in the waiting room and wait to see the Dr."

Umm. WHAT? Lord, we prayed for A heartbeat. WHAT DID SHE SAY?

Excitement. Relief. Overwhelmed. Happy. Disbelief. Overjoyed. Tired. Confused. Crying. Smiling.

6 months after that....

Baby B - Dalton at 2 days old

Baby A - Easton at 16 days old

Baby C - Quinton at 16 days old

I share this with a heavy and happy heart. I think it's because of the infertility struggle. Any happy milestones come with reminders of the sadness and heartache you had before you got to the happy times. I think others that have walked through this road would agree. I hesitated to post this, because someone might think I am being pessimistic or ungrateful.

Untrue.

If you know me, you know I love my kids and am very happy with them! I just lived the infertility for so long, that it is apart of who I am. My heart hurts for others that are going through the same thing. I actually never talked about it while going through it. I never talked about it afterwards. I never wanted to be public about it. However, my situation of having triplets has MADE me talk about it. Now I realize that God has allowed me to become more comfortable talking about it. If I can share how painful it was, maybe it might help someone else realize they are not alone?

I'm sorry if this story is choppy, or not well written. It's a hard subject for me to discuss and I'm just writing it out as it's in my heart.

Happy Sweet 16th, Maria!

Happy Birthday, Maria! Dan's youngest sister is celebrating her Sweet 16 today.

We love when Aunt Maria is around, she loves the boys! They love playing with her, too. These pictures are from this summer when she stayed with us a few weeks. We wish Missouri was closer!

Happy Birthday, Maria!

Easton cheering his turn

Easton ready for his turn

Dalton watching his ball, willing it to move

Dalton

Sad Quinton, he doesn't like waiting

Daddy helping Quinton

Quinton using the bowling rack

Daddy's Turn!

We hope it's a great birthday! Anyone in the Branson area might want to watch out while driving..... :)

Do your triplets act all the same???

I'm not going to get into the nitty gritty of this question that I get ALL the time.... I just wanted to take a second to show an example this morning.

Now that we have moved, the boys have their own closets. They are enjoying picking out their own clothes (within the limits I give them). Please excuse the quality of the photos, they are from my phone.

Dalton loves good guys and bad guys. He always wants to play them, and be them. Right now his favorite show is Star Wars. He picked out this nifty shirt that I picked up at Old Navy this spring for $1.58 each. The boys each have one.

Easton loves routine and the color blue. It's hard to tell which he loves more. He likes to be comfortable, and for him this means routine and a shirt he still can wear after a long time. They boys have these striped shirts in three different colors. They started wearing them last summer and still fit them this year. There is nothing wrong with the shirts, I am just TIRED of seeing them. I think other moms understand. So when Easton went into his closet to pick out a shirt and came out with his old faithful routine BLUE shirt, I inwardly groaned....

Quinton is unlike Dan and I. He wants to dress up. ALL the time. The reason why he won't smile in the picture below is because I would not let him wear a long sleeve dress shirt with a tie and sweater vest. He had to succumb to a button up collared shirt. He loves to be dressy!

What do I say when I get the question "Do your triplets all act the same?" I fight my natural inclination to start a lecture, recognizing that even though I have heard this question 1,091 times, this is the first time they are asking it.

"They are just like any brothers. They act like their own person. They just happened to be born on the same day at the same time."

Spend a little time with them. You'll see how different they truly are. I love them!

EnTWINed Community - guest post

I have the honor of being featured on the Entwined Community blog today! Check it out HERE.

Entwined is a national compilation of businesses own and ran by families of multiples. What a way to support other families of Twins, Triplets, Quads and more!

We are Moved!

If you were wondering, we are 100% moved! It's been an exciting time, and exhausting. We feel very blessed with the home we now have, and our boys are having a blast having their "own" things. Their own room, own closet, own bookshelves. It has been a project for me to go through their clothes and split them into three closets rather than one.

Along with these changes are stresses on each of us. To unpack, get used to new surroundings, dealing with setting up utilities, dealing with customer service calls, etc. Then Dan started a new semester teaching the week before we moved. So it was not the ideal time to move, but that is when the house was ready.

We are chugging along. Today I realized that I am not feeling very settled because I've focused on getting the boys settled into their rooms. However I have still be living out of a suitcase and my closet and bathroom are still in boxes. I took this afternoon to unpack Dan's clothes and my clothes, and about half of the master bathroom.

Can you believe I am doing a post without pictures? I have not taken out my camera this entire move! Well, I couldn't find it for part of it. I knew where it was, it was just packed away safely. Since then we have been working on room by room to unpack, organize and purge. We had hoped to purge before the move, but it didn't happen. Now our garage is COMPLETELY full. It has an attic side, a "go through older boxes" side, now a "giveaway/sell" side, and now a HUGE garbage side. Our garbage collection was the morning we moved, so we didn't have anything to put out just yet. Now we have an incredible amount of items, boxes, wrap, etc.

When I start to get overwhelmed, I stop a minute and just thank God for this opportunity for my family! We have been able to find a wonderful job for Dan, a great church for our family with awesome friends, and now we have moved into a house of our dreams. We never thought we'd get a house that had so many of my "wish list" items on it. Rooms for each boys, a covered porch, my own closet, facing west (yes, this was one of my "must" items), etc. Our biggest "wish" was wanting two living areas to have people over. That way we can have different areas for different conversations. We have been blessed to already entertain some friends tonight! Thankfully they are good enough friends to look past all the items that still need to be unpacked :)

So, if you are looking for me this week, I will be neck deep in boxes. Please contact me to make sure I did get buried alive in cardboard!

I will get some updated photos at SOME point.... :)